Jo was sitting by the river under a huge weeping willow tree, throwing pebbles into the water and thinking of what happened yesterday. She was upset: Her best friends had been horrible at school. She felt really alone as she couldn't tell her parents because they were just too busy with work. She watched the ripples go further and further each time she threw a stone : Plop! The rings of ripples soothed her, and throwing was helping her to release her anger and frustration. After a while she grew tired and stopped throwing. The water grew very still. The river was deep. She was only a few miles from the sea. Jo watched the clouds reflected in the mirror of the water. The warm sun and hypnotic patterns of the clouds sent her to sleep.
She dreamt that she was floating down the river on a cloud boat, circling around ripples, like whirlpools, and being taken by the current. While gently rocked by the flow of the river she saw beside her, in her dream, another person: At first she thought it was simply her reflection but it was her mirror image, smiling such a beautiful smile at her. She was not afraid. Her ‘twin’ softly whispered, "Hello!” with a lovely, musical voice, like ripples on the water. Then she laughed, a tinkling, sort of sparkly laugh: Which made Jo completely at ease. Jo-two had lots to tell her and it seemed like hours went by. Jo-two told Jo she was going to show her things, to help her whenever she was lonely or sad and pointed over the side of the cloud boat. Jo peered over and saw the river they were floating on seem to become like a movie of her life. Jo could see herself when she was tiny, crawling on the floor at her mum’s feet; her first, wobbly steps; when she fell in the garden and her dad scooped up and cuddled her. She saw the garden at their old house so clearly, and could almost smell the sweet peas near the fence. Jo could see so many memories, some happy, some sad. Then Jo-two told Jo they could go swimming and visit these memory pictures, if she wanted to, reassuring her that they could come back to the boat at any time. Jo hesitated for a tiny moment, just a little bit afraid. She took hold of Jo-two's outstretched hand and felt so much love and support in her clasp that she then felt brave enough.
So together they jumped over the side of the boat. It was not even wet! Jo felt really free. It was exhilarating to be swimming in the river. They swam upstream with no effort at all. The water felt like caresses of spun silk. There were sparkles and rainbow colours, (like you see when you blow bubbles). Jo-two was whispering to her again, well Jo was not sure if it was inside or outside her head, but the whispering was like a beautiful song, telling her she could go wherever she wanted to. Jo-two suggested visiting happy memories first, to help her feel strong. Almost straight away, she saw herself sitting on her mum's lap on her 2nd birthday, together unwrapping a fluffy, white teddy bear and she could see her dad smiling at her. Jo felt really warm and happy inside. Next she saw her puppy, sitting on her lap, all snuggled up (when they brought her home in the car). She visited many happy memories and felt her heart fill with delight.
Jo-two told her she could visit a sad memory, if she wanted to, and help that memory be better. With Jo-two Jo felt so strong and contented she felt she could go anywhere. The first sad memory she felt drawn to, was surprisingly, not the recent time at school, but a time when she was very little. She was at her grandma's, her mother had gone to hospital, and she felt very alone, she did not understand and feared she would never see her mum and dad again. Jo-two encouraged her to speak to her little baby self, and to comfort her. It seemed a little strange to hold her baby-self, but she felt so much love for her, and the baby looked at her with big trusting eyes. She whispered to baby Jo, telling her who she was and that she would always be with her, even if the baby could not actually see her. As she held her close to her heart, she told her all the things she would have liked to have been told at that time. Then shared with the baby all the fun things she would be doing as she grew up. She sang her favourite songs, and baby Jo fell asleep in her arms, with a smile on her face.
With her baby-self so close, she felt inside her own body, a knot of tension melt and sighed a big sigh of release. Jo-two suggested she put a magical protective bubble around the baby. Jo chose pink and saw a shimmering, soft, pink haze all round the baby like a cocoon. Gently she placed her, wrapped in that safe bubble, right next to her mum, so that when she woke she would see her.
For anything is possible in a dream.
With that new image tucked in her heart she again took Jo-two's hand, and together they swam, this time in the opposite direction, downstream. Jo-two had a surprise. They passed the cloud boat, and swam further and further, until the river grew wider and wider with less bends. They swam past many scenes, until Jo-two signalled her to stop swimming. There Jo saw an older version of herself: A lovely woman in a homely house, with two children playing in the garden. Jo could see a man making dinner through the kitchen doorway. The woman did not seem surprised to see Jo and Jo-two, and welcomed them into the room. It was almost as if she was waiting for them. They were greeted with a huge, warm hug from older Jo. Her husband was playing music enjoying creating a nourishing meal for his family and was oblivious of the meeting in the sitting room.
Older Jo was radiant. She seemed so happy, so Jo asked what she had done to make her so satisfied with her life. Older Jo told her that she had decided, when she was a teenager, there was so much sorrow and unhappiness in the world she didn't want to add to it. A friend taught her tapping (see appendix), which helped her start watching the way she talked to herself. Her days seemed to work out much better when she noticed how she actually had power to change her thoughts. So everyday she was more and more vigilant, and each day her life grew happier and happier. If ever she felt unhappy or disappointed, she would do tapping and also talk to the angels, as she was certain they were looking after her. At night, especially, if the day had not been so great, she would ask them for help, so that she could see things differently. Then in her dreams she would often go to a sparkling river, with hundreds of reflected clouds, and in the morning she always felt much better. Jo told her all about the memory river, and then older Jo knew why she was not surprised to see them, she had met them in her dreams! Older Jo taught Jo tapping, and encouraged her to talk to the angels, and to remember to thank them.
They spent what seemed hours, sharing adventures and laughing lots. Then Jo-two got up and magically turned back the hands of the clock on the shelf, saying they must go now. Older Jo gave Jo such a lovely hug and kiss. She felt totally loved, and her whole body tingled with warmth and delight. She knew in her heart she would be seeing her again, they really didn’t need to say goodbye!
The scene changed, transforming slowly, the colours and shapes softly going out of focus from the room, becoming like multi-coloured snowflakes. She saw the river all around her. Jo and Jo-two were swimming again, holding hands, both smiling at each other. It was not long before they were climbing back into the cloud boat, and lying sprawled and laughing in the bottom of the boat. Above them the stars were glittering. Yet before too long the light was changing, it became brighter and brighter, with it the sound of birdsong. There were a few soft, pinky clouds above them. The stars disappeared out of sight. Jo-two whispered to her that she would always be with her. Jo felt her hand in hers even when she woke, even when she got up from under the willow tree, and even when she walked away from the riverbank. In fact she often felt her hand in hers, and heard her soft whispering. She was sure she had other river adventures many times when she slept, and she somehow knew she was never totally alone. She would always have her secret twin, who she could talk to, and of course the angels, which made her smile.
Strangely, or maybe not: The next day at school her friends ran to meet her, as if nothing had happened and together they went to sit under the old beech tree, at the edge of the playground, and chatted and laughed until it was time to go in.
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